Look here for suggested reading, useful websites, and regular blog posts. If you would like to subscribe to my blog, scroll down to the bottom of this page and provide your email address in the space provided.

Thank you for being a new year

Ho ho hurray, hurray…the holidays are over. It will be another year, before I become anxious over family gatherings; wonder if I should make the contribution of my own big holiday meal; fret over if I should buy Christmas gifts even though the…

0 comments

Vulnerable

In spite of removing my mask, being able to hug my children and grandchildren and the relative safety of being fully vaccinated I feel vulnerable. There is still a monster lurking in the corner, hidden dangers in public places and an uneasy sense…

2 comments

Tears

Surprising myself, I wept listening to President Biden plod through his reassuring, sensible and kind inauguration speech.  I did not know how relieved I would feel that the new president would take on the role of protector and guide, rather than claiming his…

2 comments

A long conversation with myself

I am alone so much that I started writing about my life… asking myself questions and answering myself. I am sitting on the edge, on the verge, on the precipice of falling into an old lady’s lap. Mine. My thoughts are solemn: Did…

3 comments

Just the plain facts

When Ruth Bader Ginsburg was sworn in as the 107th justice to the United States Supreme Court on August 10, 1993, she became the second woman to sit on this court (Sandra Day O’Connor was the first), the first Jewish justice since 1969, and…

0 comments

Lacking

    Lacking     I am not sure that I have enough self-discipline for this new life. I am beginning to think that I need a great deal more self control and more will power for this new world I am living…

1 comment

for Jennifer

0 comments

Haircut?

Haircut or live with it?!!!! Of course I can count, of course I know how old am…did you think I was senile or forgetful.  After all I remember everybody’s birthday, my wedding anniversary and the date your husband died and… I just did…

0 comments

Anniversary

I never seem to fully recover from the long illness and death of my husband. Grief’s appetite (a phrase captured from the poet Annah Sobelman) He possessed my youth.He held title to my beauty.He had the keys to my womb. “The hardest part…

0 comments

Revised version of I am a tree

I am the tree I am the wild horse running free I am the caged bear I am the snake ready to strike   I am the young boy dissolved by the bomb’s blast I am the mother grieving for her son. I…

0 comments

Looking in the mirror

0 comments

birth day

My mother was a 35-year-old dancer married to her third husband and she longed for a daughter. I am her only child. Begin, begin, resist, persist Some births are gentle and smooth Not mine. A tremulous embrace of two hearts engaged in a…

0 comments

I am

I am the tree I am the flea searching for a dog home I am the small yellow/black bird feeding at my bird feeder I am the child separated now at the border crossing I am screaming for my mother   I am…

1 comment

33 poems …sharing one

My very slim volume of poetry is available on either claireworks.com or this website. Elizabeth Taylor was born on February 27,1932 died March 23, 2011. Ode for Elizabeth Taylor Elizabeth Taylor was in my day the most beautiful woman in the world. I…

1 comment

Words as weapons or instruments of change

Words as weapons or instruments of change One of the things that I have noticed as the years pass is how language changes, morphs and creates new words. The adverb seems to have died …how many times have been jarred out of a…

1 comment

Brooding

It is a sunny day with undertones of gloom The blue sky is lying but the wind may be telling the truth.   I must make a pact with what good is left in the world And never use a plastic straw again.…

2 comments

Is there anything….

Is there anything I can do? When I was a child I was a very good student and had an affinity for math and science. This was before I really came apart as an adolescent and left behind such pursuits. I remember a…

0 comments

What power

What power is loose in the world! Too late, too late   We have woken her from her long nap She has begun cleaning her earth And will not stop until the shores are empty of life All animals are extinguished Excepting the…

0 comments

The Big Table

The Big Table When my husband and I were just in the planning stages of building a new house we purchased a large sturdy rectangular oak table that had two leaves to extend it to sit twelve good sized (my family is very…

0 comments

John Michael Haye born November 8th 1943

John Michael Haye born November 8th1943. He died in his sleep April 27th.2001   His death was like a birth   As a young mother would about to deliver This his very last day…a profound gush of energy. Later I found the list…

0 comments

Autumn Song

Walking along summer turning to autumn roads. Walking the rambling circle. Walking slowly cautiously.   Head bent down often seeking for/ seeing /choosing heart shaped rocks. Stones not too heavy to burden my journey.   Changing. I have begun to collect smooth unworried…

3 comments

Climate Change -true or false

Climate change /Absurd   The spring birds arrived in the winter The rain came in place of the snow The wind stormed when it should have been calmer Not an odd moment but a permanent change in the weather   The vast ice…

0 comments

The difference between prose and poetry

My last visit with Jennifer Ryan (my daughter’s mother-in-law) was September 6, 2019 and it left me shaken and sad.   Lament for Jen o’fer She was …….she was….. she ain’t anymore what she was Jen o’ fer (as they say in merry…

0 comments

As the world turns

As the world turns In the local Spanish culture there is a word for two women whose children are married and share grandchildren-comadre (spelling unknown). My older daughter Melissa married Alex Cserhat in 1996.  His mother, Jennifer Ryan, lives in Taos and has…

1 comment

Warning: this is not PC

If you’re definitely still alive but you think that an important part of you has died, can you hold a memorial for that part of you that feels over or vanished?   I want to have a funeral for my looks. My good looks. …

0 comments

 I really can’t take it any more!

 I really can’t take it any more! After all these various shoot-ups and mass murders you would think I would get used to reading about innocent folks being killed doing regular normal things like going to a Garlic Festival or for heaven sake…

0 comments

Partings

I live in a small town; I know many of the inhabitants of my community without knowing them well. I count on our friendly random interweaving and mild exchanges. Seen from the corner of my eye   Elaine Sutton ……Lee Driver Let me…

1 comment

a poem

For many years my good friends have given a Memorial Party at their lovely home –the group varies somewhat but generally has the same cast of characters. After the party I usually send them a poem as thank you note, but I chose…

0 comments

Hey I am getting OLD!

Hey I am getting OLD! Turning 50 years, turning 60 years old, turning 65 years old and well even turning 70 years old…not so bad. I was feeling reasonably good…what is this aging stuff?  Hmmm, not as thin as I used to be,…

0 comments

So many funerals

So many funerals… I live in a small town and I am of a certain age. This means people I know seem to be dying off on some unknown but regular schedule. Lately, I have been going to quite a few funerals. I…

1 comment

Celebrating…..death

 Celebrating Death Are we always sorry when someone dies? Could we possibly be glad or at least comfortable with their death? I am not talking about the tragic death of children, accident victims, and people taken in their vital years or suicides. Personally, I…

1 comment

a lament for unplanned parenthood

Lament for unplanned parenthood My womb has been…. seized By a committee of ole white men with tight eyes blue or grey spare the rod not Control the egg…..power to the sperm   Shall I Lay me down Give birth to Christ…they tell…

0 comments

Vulnerable

Vulnerable Years ago when I had a husband I also had a Mother-in-law. We married young- I was twenty-two and Michael was twenty-four. Michael’s mother was also young (I may not have thoughts so at the time) 48 years old and very very…

1 comment

“Evolved to Exercise”

“Evolved to Exercise” Today I went to the dentist. Every 90 days I have my teeth cleaned. My body produces an extreme amount of tartar. Seriously, I floss, drench my teeth with a water pic and avidly use my electric toothbrush, but I…

1 comment

$$$$$

$$$$$ The latest government crisis has certainly brought into focus the disparity between the moneyed elite and the so-called middle class bureaucratic workers who help run the day to day of our country. How many Senators would work without pay? Did you guess…

1 comment

Too Old

Too Old Often, a child identifies more strongly with one parent. This may be reinforced by comments: “You are just like your father.” said in a not necessarily friendly tone. Or “You remind me of my Grandma Marie.”  (the one who had nineteen…

0 comments

Choose your Pain

Choose your Pain I never thought of “pain” that is physical pain as being a constant in my life.  I have known and experienced plenty of emotional pain: grief, insecurities, humiliations, rejections and anger.  I understood than human life brings frustrations and failures…

0 comments

Work

Work I have been working very hard. In the last six months I finished a 7 foot soft sculpture, completed and installed a 5’ x 7’ ceramic mural, put together a three figure life size ceramic piece that I had not touched in…

2 comments

Birthdays etc.

  I am one those people who remembers other people’s birthday. Are you? I never thought that my memory would become so crowded with the birthdays of people that I loved and admired that have passed on. Adding to the congestion.  I often…

1 comment

Careful

In the introduction to my book, I said, “I have a lingering hope for a last romance.” In 2015, a collector (shall we say a gentleman) called me about a broken ceramic sculpture and I suggested that I repair it and use the…

4 comments

Small town people I slightly knew dying

For Elaine Sutton and Lee Driver  The colors of my world seem to be fading Deaths of people I hardly knew seen from the corner of my eye for Decades Yes, I barely spoke with them I never stopped and said words –meaningful…

1 comment

Holiday fare and unfair.

Holiday fare and unfair. The big meal is coming!!! A few words about holiday food: What should I eat? The short answer: Anything you feel like! The long answer: Your human digestive system is built to handle an amazing variety of foods, however,…

0 comments

Holiday fare and unfair.

Holiday fare and unfair. The big meal is coming!!! A few words about holiday food: What should I eat? The short answer: Anything you feel like! The long answer: Your human digestive system is built to handle an amazing variety of foods, however,…

0 comments

showing up in surprising ways

Showing up for others   I woke up this morning needing to write a short note to say how appreciative I am of several friends who have been faced with major health challenges. Another of the trials of the aging process is not…

0 comments

20 years ….20 years more?

I am celebrating 20 years in business in  Arroyo Seco. Should I try for 20 years more?!? On Wednesday August 3, 2017 my gallery opened her doors and began her 21st year in business. I started my space with little fanfare and I have…

0 comments

Planned or Unplanned Obsolescence.

Planned or Unplanned Obsolescence. On a Saturday in April, my refrigerator broke down. First we noticed that suddenly there was a puddle of water in the ice cube bin and that the frozen artichokes hearts that I had been saving for a great…

0 comments

Fear of trickle down marginalization

Fear of trickle down marginalization Woman already are disproportionally paid for their skills and therefore receive lower social security benefits. Women age 65 and older are much more likely to be poor than their male counterparts—and older, minority, and unmarried women are at…

1 comment

Weighing in or the media is the message

Weighing in or the media is the message I am old enough to have read the Marshall McLuhan ‘s book The Medium is the Message published in the 60’s. What I got out of it is the idea that culture shifts when new…

1 comment

Ways to buy the guide…on Amazon

Yes, the guide is now on Amazon and in a bookstore near you! After a beautiful and delightful summer of romance and lazy afternoons, the autumn breezes of Taos have cooled my brain and made me much more diligent and eager to complete…

0 comments

the power of the word

Political movements have been fueled by the power of the word. I remember singing “catch a nigger by the toe if he hollers let him go” with absolutely no awareness that I was cheerfully mouthing an awful racial slur. As a baby boomer…

2 comments

Widow or Single

Widow or Just Older Single As I age I have lost many friends and family members. This month, I have been thinking every day about my husband (the one and only Michael Haye) who died: April 27,2001. It was obvious for many years before he left that…

1 comment

The joys of being a klutz

I have noticed as the years pass that my friends are wearing out. It seems to me that my more athletic friends (the ladies that were actually good at sports) have had more surgeries on worn out knees and shoulders than those of…

1 comment

Whew! My book is finding friends!

I am delighted that the Guide is finding an audience. I am not sure how this is happening since I have been in a serious, there is too much snow and cold here in New Mexico, slump. There is a definite warming trend…

0 comments

Reading out loud at SOMOS, January 6th

I am delighted and slightly nervous. I will read from A Modern Woman’s Guide on Wednesday, January 6th at SOMOS. I intend to read a smattering – all the human parts and avoiding the heavy science that is of course part of the aging…

0 comments

A Wonderful Mention In NM Magazine

How nice -a friendly and encouraging mention in the January 2016 edition of New Mexico Magazine. And I am getting orders for the Guide. This is all new to me -writing a book and finding readers who discover my book. .. just what they did not…

1 comment

November 30th New Yorker

There are two terrific articles in the November 30 New Yorker 1. “OUR BODIES OURSELVES An artisanal funeral home” Good news – a new generation of funeral directors/earth mothers are offering a modern take on burial practices. Or is their point of view…

0 comments

A New Way to Purchase My Guide

Here is a new way to purchase my Guide: The Modern Woman’s Guide to Aging will be available for purchase at Taos Folk. Taos Folk is an annual “pop-up store’ that will open Friday (Nov. 27) at 10 a.m., at the Stables Gallery…

0 comments

Report from the Emotional Front

I “enjoyed” the conference: The Path to Truth and Purpose: Transforming Shame. It was held at Rivera Funeral Home in Santa Fe New Mexico. Well, in truth it was on park like grounds of Rivera Funeral Home housed in a beautiful spanking new…

0 comments

Celebrating Older Women

bonnieleeblack.com Check out Bonnie Lee Black. Her website and blog is full of stories and interviews. She celebrates vital women over 70 years old with sympathetic and interesting conversations.  Bonnie has a great spirit, is a fine chef,an author and an adventurous traveler.

1 comment

My Very First Reading

Applause. I hardly expected it. Well, I enjoyed reading smatterings and snippets from my Guide and I appreciated my audience of women and a few good men. Thanks you all. This weekend I am going to Santa Fe to participate in the Transforming…

0 comments

Tea and Reading

Tea anyone? And me reading from my book. Please join me in Taos at Valverde Commons Community Building for tea, cookies, maybe apples, possibly pop-corn, who knows lasagna, conversation , a reading of my Guide and a following discussion. Free to all who…

0 comments

Readers!!!

What a pleasure, I am hearing from the readers of the Guide.Today from a friend Carol: “Claire, you made a very good book for women with terrific information and suggestions. Thank you.” From someone I do not know: “I received your book in…

0 comments

Participating in Transforming Shame Workshop, October 24 & 25, 2015

I am looking forward to attending this conference sponsored by the Golden Willow Retreat Center. It is  at 417 Rodeo Road   Santa Fe, New Mexico- all day Saturday October 24 and Sunday October 25. I am going to be attending as a participant, but…

0 comments

Tea at Valverde Commons October 17, 2015

Please join me in Taos at Valverde Commons Community Building for tea, conversation ,  a reading of my Guide and a following discussion. Free to all who are interested in the book or the subject of aging. Saturday October 17, 2015    4:00…

2 comments

Keeping My Promise.

Keeping my promise. I was actually thrilled to write a check for $1000 to the fund Making It A Better World for Women And Children. Yes, for every sale of the Guide, I am donating $5 to the fund. And yes, I have…

1 comment

Great Turnout for Launch!

Happy!!! The book launch was successful. I have now sold over 100 books. I am ready to begin contributing to the fund Making It A Better World For Women and Children. Writing my first check today honoring my promise to contribute $5 to…

2 comments

August 22, 2015 at Claireworks Gallery in Arroyo Seco 4-6PM -the Launch

First a book is an idea –maybe a crazy idea, maybe a good idea, maybe an idea you should forget about. Quickly. You begin with a few paragraphs and think, “Yes, I do want to spend time thinking and writing about this subject.”…

1 comment

Golden Willow Retreat Center

www.goldenwillowretreat.org Life brings loss. All of us learn what grief is. Sometimes we experience the tragic and terrible death of people we love. Ted Wiard has created a magical place to confront, deal with and heal with our emotional wounds: The Golden Willow…

0 comments

Yes… The Books Have Arrived

Yes, no, oh no, wow ….Yes my book is here – boxes, and boxes of A Modern Woman’s Guide to Aging: Together We Consider Our Options. The publishing company promised me they (all one thousand books) would be delivered to Claireworks Gallery on…

0 comments

Waiting for the Books

I called the printer today just to make sure the Guide was on its way. Several people have asked to purchase my book (fantastic) and I am excited that so many people have expressed interest in my themes. And sad that the Guide…

0 comments

Book Launch… Let’s Celebrate

We will  celebrate at Claireworks Gallery on Saturday August 22, 2015 from 4:00 to 6:00pm. Claireworks is located at 482 A State Highway 150 Arroyo Seco, New Mexico. 575- 776-5195 Looking forward to  signing your Guide.

0 comments