Widow or Just Older Single

As I age I have lost many friends and family members. This month, I have been thinking every day about my husband (the one and only Michael Haye) who died: April 27,2001.

It was obvious for many years before he left that he was not going to go the distance with me. Whatever unique genetic make-up made him a great leader and athletic super man also made him vulnerable to atherosclerosis. He had his first heart attack at 34 years old and died when he was 57 years old.

Note: The effects of atherosclerosis differ depending upon which arteries in the body narrow and become clogged with plaque. If the arteries that bring oxygen-rich blood to your heart are affected, you may have coronary artery disease, chest pain, or a heart attack.

I seem to be made of mad Russian genes that have given me an extended vitality and a bad temper. I guess I am here for a prolonged stay. Alone it seems. Widow. I am tired of the word and the honor. I am simply an older woman and single.

A poem for Michael:

he has left but his tender scent remains

all the knots untied -just fragile oddments

threads or dust

I cannot say

all the sentences have proper periods

no exclamations marks allowed


The tears have been bled from my heart

and my  mouth now … thin line

my tongue silent and dry

we cannot argue or touch

for he has gone

I cannot find him

I cannot learn

I cannot say


Will I ever know again

his gentle soul

I shall keep for as long as there is a now his translucent good-bye