Lacking

Lacking

I am not sure that I have enough self-discipline for this new life. I am beginning to think that I need a great deal more self control and more will power for this new world I am living in. I know I am failing at controlling my appetite for ice cream.

I don’t think that I am practicing self-control. Yes, I am lazy and slothful. However, I will still straighten the house if I know someone is coming to visit. I am still brushing my teeth.

I am not sure that I have enough self-discipline for this new existence.

I am not doing my shoulders exercises. I am not walking or hiking. I ate ice cream three days in row. I sometimes do my foot exercises. I do not think I have enough discipline to perform well in this new situation.

I am lacking self-discipline.

I will wear pajamas for several days – night and day the same pair…. my record is two nights and one day. However, I will shower and put on a clean attractive outfit if I am going out even just to the Grocery Store.

I do not enjoy going to the Grocery Store, I will go to the grocery store if I am out of coffee or anticipate that I will very shortly be out of coffee or coffee filters. Yes, I still enjoy my one morning cup of coffee. My own cooking for one is really terrible. However, I will make you a nice lunch and we can sit on the porch. What will we do when it gets colder?

Some things that were once easy are now so difficult.

I still have not sorted through my clothes, although, certainly.  I do not wear everything in my closet. Just cannot put on my black clothes, I used to wear black every day, now I am trying to beige it. I am losing the need for dark clothes to hide my thickening body, maybe, I no longer care.

I have new fears.

Sometimes I cannot sleep, and other times I fall asleep on the couch or in a chair.

Sometimes, I wake up from a very bad dream that I cannot quite remember, yet I wake up to escape from.

Hey yesterday, I got a pedicure. Starting from the feet up.