“Everyone hears what you say, friends listen to what you say, best friends listen to what you don’t say” While this is true, best friends also know how to listen effectively.
Good listening skills are vital to the health of any lasting friendship and they can be achieved by fallowing four simple steps.
1. Ask your friend what is wrong without pushing them to talk. If they aren’t ready to open up yet start a casual conversation that will give them time to warm up and feel like they can change the subject back to their problem. Once they are ready to talk let them vent keeping your attention on them but resisting the urge to give advice.
2. Summarize what they have said and how you perceived it to show you are completely focused on them, listening, and trying to understand.
3. Keep your input to a minimum; remember this is the art of listening. Don’t branch into related stories or start “fueling the fire” by freaking out yourself. Keep the focus on them until they feel better.
4. If your friend wants your input in finding a solution help them brainstorm rather than just stating what you think. If you state a raw opinion and they decide to go a different route it can create awkwardness in your friendship.
